2020: More Courage, Self-control and Joy-July Edition

Wow! The year is halfway over. My heart is full of thankfulness as I sit down to look over the month of July.

When it comes to having courage, I feel great knowing that I have completed a temporary job with Perkins School for the Blind. I learned some new skills and met some nice people. I even got a chance to get some help with getting my resume up to date.

I had my follow up visit with my orthodontist and I am happy to report that I do not need a new retainer and my back tooth finally moved back to where it needed too.  Speaking of health, I was brave, and I broke down and I went to my low-income health center and applied for the sliding scale program. I am just waiting to hear back.

When it comes to self-control, I have had to wait on seeing things come to pass. For the past week I have been working on my self-employment paperwork. It was frustrating because I was not sure what I was doing. I really had to google a lot of the answers. I am happy to report that my business coach was happy with my progress. I learned that God walks with me no matter where life takes me. My friend from Alabama sent me back my hard drive and it still is not working. I know that God allowed this to happen to teach me to back up my work and not to be lazy. Always have a couple of copies of things in case something happens to the original.

Lastly, when it comes to joy, I have tried to focus on the fact that I am right where I need to be. I am still working on my book and online course I am writing. I have just finished reading the book of Revelation, and now I am studying the book of Daniel. I love getting closer to Jesus. I am learning to trust him more and more with my life.

What has happened in your life that has helped you draw closer to God? Let me know in the comments below.

2020: More Courage, Self-Control and Joy-June Edition

Have you ever asked God to move you? Well, this past month that is exactly what I asked God to do and he responded.

This month has certainly been filled with courage. On the 14th of June I applied for a job as a mental health blogger. I got an interview and they asked me to send in some samples. The company liked what they saw and asked for two more fresh off the press samples. I sent them in and waited. I did not hear back. Even though I did not get the job I knew that God had something better for me.  A week went by and in my email inbox I got a request from Perkins to come join their three-day career launch testing group. I was excited to do the job. Come to find out I was going to get paid! I learned a lot during the three-day program. I will sit down and write a separate blog post about this event. 😊

In addition to this I had my follow up appointment with my orthodontist. He wants me to continue to wear my retainers full time until July 15. Our goal is to see if my back tooth moves to its proper position. He says if my tooth does not move back into place, and I start having pain then we may have to remove it. I am following the orthodontist’s instructions. I feel that I am making progress, but it is going to take some time.

When it comes to self-control, I have been learning that the more I practice patience the calmer I become. I was having anxiety about reaching my savings goals. It feels like I will never get there. However, little by little I am getting there.

Lastly, when it comes to joy this month was packed full of surprises. I was able to go out with a friend of mine and go thrift shopping. God provided me with an amazing pair of shoes which I was praying for.

On top of this God has connected me with my mother’s family. I have connected with a 2nd cousin who is now my prayer partner and he wants me to succeed with my business. He told me over the phone that even though my business plan may be as big as an elephant keep going step by step. I will get there. He also pointed me to peace when I told him about my father’s side of the family. He told me I can pray for them, but it is up to God to change their hearts. However, it is up to them to act on the change that God has given them. He is right. I can not let the hurt of my father’s family get to me. I can only give it to God and let him do the work.

How was June for you? Let me know in the comments below.

2020: More Courage, Self-Control and Joy-May Edition

Have you ever stopped and just listened to what God is saying to you? That is what I’ve been doing for the month of May.

When it comes to courage, I had to show courage when I had to go back to my orthodontist to find out about treatment for my shifted teeth. I found out that I had to start wearing my retainers full time to try to shift my teeth back to their original position. I will find out, in a few weeks, if I need surgery or not. Ever since that visit to my orthodontist I have been in a body dysmorphic disorder flare.  I find myself looking in the mirror judging my appearance wondering if my teeth have moved even just the slightest amount. That is when I hear God refer me back to Psalm 139:11, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it.” God also has taught me that even though others may judge my appearance, it says in (1 Samuel 16:7),   … “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t make decisions the way you do! People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at a person’s thoughts and intention.”  God has shown me that I can finally let go of my body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). I have now found peace with my disorder. I will let you know more about my Orthodontic treatment when I find out more information.

When it comes to self-control, I had to learn to wait for things to happen in my life. For example, I have set a few Financial goals, such as my personal savings. I must slowly put money away to reach them. I will make it though. God has also taught me to continue to have a positive mindset. Right now, I am slowly getting things back together since my hard drive crashed last November. I am working on my book. My goal is to have it ready to present to the Vocational Rehabilitation board in August. It says in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Joy, in the light of the virus I have started to slow down and learned to enjoy what life has to offer. This month, my grandpa celebrated his 84th birthday. We went out to dinner to one of his favorite restaurants. We both had a fish basket. It was tasty. During my Bible study this month God showed me that I can have emotional peace and I do not have to dwell on the tough stuff. He has showed me that even though I am considered to be labeled as living in “Poverty” I can enjoy being his child and that I can enjoy the little things such as enjoying a nice scent of lavender bubble bath. I am starting to see God’s love around me. All I have to do is stop, listen and look around to find it.

How was May for you? Tell me in the comments below.

2020: More Courage, Self-Control and Joy-April Edition

April has come and gone in waves. Some days go by faster than others. I must admit that I forgot to write a “2020: More courage, Self-Control and Joy-March Edition” because I lost track of time.

Like the rest of the world, I am staying at home due to the Pandemic. I have found out a lot about myself during this difficult time.

First, I have decided to have more courage. One of the things that this pandemic has taught me is that I deserve health care. I have not seen a doctor since 2016. Even though I have a fear of getting medical care, I have decided that once this Pandemic ends, and the doctor offices open up I have to make an appointment to have a general health assessment which includes blood work. When it comes to courage I really have to learn that God wants me to have peace in my life, to understand that he wants me to let go of my past, and my fears and to know that he has a wonderful life planned for me.

Self-control has been challenging because I have been struggling with setting my financial goals. There are some things I need to buy, but there are also a few things I want to buy. For example, I broke my Phone’s screen last November after my hard drive broke, and I need to replace my phone’s screen. I have been going back and forth with the thought of buying myself a prepaid cell phone plan or staying on my grandfather’s family plan and just fixing my phone. Getting my phone fixed will not be cheap. There are somethings I would like to buy. I would like to buy an Apple watch. However, achieving these “want” goals take time. The things I really need, including my business goals, are most important. I just have to show self-control and save for the most important things first.

One of the things that this pandemic has taught me is to have more joy for what I have. Recently, God has been telling me “to clean out my closet and my room.” Not only is he talking about my physical space, but spiritually as well. I have been using An App called Bible. Within this app you can study different plans. Boy, God sure has been using this App to get my attention! Lately, I have been struggling with my Body Dysmorphia Disorder and God used  two different plans  one called “How God See’s you” And “Get Out Of Your Head” to get my attention that the way I look is the way I am meant to be. God wants me to focus on him and on reaching my goals that he has set for me instead of having anxiety take over me. God has also used another plan called “How To Forgive Someone Who Hurt you Deeply.” For years I thought that my feelings had to a line so that way I could forgive my father for not wanting to be a part of my life. The plan went on to explain that forgiveness and feelings do not have to line up to forgive someone. It is okay to feel hurt, but it is better to let go of the hurt and to forgive the person who has hurt you. Dad, if you ever get a chance to read this know that I deeply want a relationship with you. You are always welcome to reach out to me at any time.  I am working on processing and forgiving you. I am no longer angry at you. You are forgiven. One of my friends put it to me this way, “As long as we have breath there is hope for a relationship.” That is a great thing. Letting go of my hurt has helped me find joy in my life. As I dive into these plans, I am working on letting go of the negative things in my life. That has brought me peace.

How was April for you? What goals did you achieve this month? Tell me in the comments below.

 

 

 

2020: More Courage, Self-Control, and Joy-February Edition

February was filled with lots of tears. Some of them were due to sadness, anger, uncertainty and joy. However, one thing I know for sure is that God was with me through every step of the way. In early February things between a good friend of mine and me broke down. This person hurt my feelings and I became very angry with what happened. I had to remind myself that I had to have courage to continue working on my business no matter what happened. I was very worried, and I even had physical symptoms that were alarming to me. Luckily, I had a lot of support from my friends. It says in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” My friends did just that; they kept reminding me to continue to work and that God wanted me to continue working.

It took a lot of self-control for me to calm down from this situation. My friends are so loving, and they reminded me that getting angry would only make things worse. Once I was calmer, I was able to see what went wrong and I was able to move on with joy.

Another reason there were so many tears this month was I had a lot of uncertainty. I was waiting on Vocational Rehabilitation to update my laptop. I had heard many horror stories about how some laptops had updated from Windows 7 to Windows 10 and they stopped working. I was praying that this would not be the case for me. I was getting worried because I know I was getting behind on some of my work due to my hard drive crashing and my laptop still running Windows 7. Does God not say that he will supply us of our needs? Indeed, he does. In Philippians 4:19,”…And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given in us in Christ Jesus.” Vocational Rehabilitation knew of my situation and acted quickly. Now I am happy to report that my laptop has been updated and is working much better.

Lastly, on the 25th of February my heart was full of grief, on that day, 15 years ago, my mother passed away.  My heart will always ache because I miss my mother. But on this day my heart also sang with joy. For those of you who don’t know, since my mother’s passing, I live with my loving and supportive grandpa. It says in James 1:27, “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles and refuse to let the world corrupt us.” My grandpa has continued to do what the verse implies. He has helped supply me with my basic needs and more. To help say thank you for all the support he has given me all these years I treated him to lunch at a local restaurant. My grandpa had red beans and rice and I had catfish. We had dessert too. Ice cream always hits the spot after a great meal.

Speaking of joy, I was able to enjoy a shopping spree with my friend this past Friday.😊

How was February for you? What brought you joy? Tell me in the comments below.

 

Please note: Bible verses come from the TruthQuest New Living Translation Inductive Student Bible.