October was another month that was filled with ups and downs. I showed Courage more than once. My last Orthodontist appointment was on 11-5-2020, I was really concerned about needing surgery. I am happy to report that the pain is gone, praise Jesus, and that surgery is not needed. Have you ever felt like you were going up against a giant? I felt like I was. I have not seen a doctor in over four years, and I knew that it was time to get back into healthy habits. That meant obtaining courage and making an appointment. It took over five times to get a hold of the social worker to be able to tell my story. I finally got a hold of her and got my appointment set.
Part of learning self-control is learning to trust Jesus. I have battled anxiety and depression most of my life. Since I made my doctor appointment it was hard to push the thoughts of going to the upcoming appointment aside. I have a hard time trusting doctors and nurses because I lost my mother, from a heart attack, at the age of sixteen. I have a huge fear of dying like my mother. However, I knew to better my health I had no choice, but to go to my appointment in November. God has given me another crash course in anger management and the ability to let things go. On the way to my last orthodontist appointment I texted a “friend,” and she started cussing me out pointing out things that were wrong in my life. Like the fact that I have a low income, no insurance and the fact that because of my visual impairment she never thinks that I will make something of myself. I tried to stand up for myself explaining that in Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen.” She continued to say hurtful things. I continued to point to the Lord by saying that I walk in God’s grace every day. In 2 Corinthians 9-11 says, “My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ my work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weakness and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Even though I continued to point to the cross she continued to argue. I ended up just ending the fight. I felt angry and hurt. The next day my friend came back to me and did not show any remorse. I had a hard time giving it over to the lord. Those words she spoke really hurt. I continue to ask for God’s grace and guidance on this matter.
When it comes to joy, I have felt joyful over the fact that I have been working with a friend who shares with me the hard work of running a business. She encourages me during each meeting. It brings me great gladness the goals that I have achieved.
How was October for you? Tell me in the comments below.